Shaker

"Adventurer who brings a stuffed bear on their journeys." - Making Up Adventurers, Cohost, 2024

"Is that a- Oh my god, she's even got a little GOWN! Armes, this is so precious! Her little BOOKS!"

The knight froze dead midstride as she heard the cry of delight, not moving for just a beat too long. When she turned to face the rascal investigating her opened pack, she wore a wry, embarrassed grin on her face, which did very interesting things with her scars. She covered the distance between the two of them quickly - not rushing, per se, but not taking her time either, and firmly took her possessions in hand, closing the pack - or nearly closing it, leaving the flap open just a crack. The splendidly fluffy toy bear in the guise of a little princess hidden inside could only just be seen. "So this is who you were speaking to when I thought you talked to yourself! Astounding!"

"Haha, yes...you've caught me off my guard! You see, sometimes when errantry calls me far from home, it gets difficult to sleep without her. A little tiny... comfort of home." Armes' smile could have passed for friendly as she looked down at the fool she'd been traveling with, a fool in the truest sense - both by nature and by profession, a juggler and singer and teller of stories who evidently had never learned to mind his own gods damned business. "I'm sure I can trust you to be discreet about my little friend, yes? No amusing songs, no jokes at my expense?"

"How could I not tell anyone about THIS? The most feared, ferocious knight in the realm-"

Armes cut him off with a voice like iron. "Worked hard, HARD to build that reputation without needing to butcher every fool yokel who thought he could best her merely for her sex. And if rumors should spread like this, people might begin to think that way again. And this time maybe I may have to leave more than a few yokels butchered." Armes seemed to grow even taller as she loomed over the fool, who shrank back, his colorful motley dimmed in her shadow. "Maybe a few in every town. Down every road where bandits who should know better start feeling bold. When every idiot third son with a lance comes seeking to make a name. I'd have to leave them strewn about my feet in pieces. With you there with me, of course. Right beside me at every turn. I'd be counting on you to witness each deed and tell everyone. Of my fierce, murderous nature."

The fool went pale - nearly as pale as the face paint he wore when performing a pantomime, and swallowed hard. "I - ah. When you put it that way, it does seem... Trivial. Boring, even. N-no one would want to hear about that. You villain." That last part muttered under his breath, his eyes looking down and away.

"So happy you could see it my way, my friend," the knight murmured, and gave him a pat on the shoulder with a heavy hand, gently turning him to face the direction she had come from. "Speaking of yokels, I was about to tell you. We won't need to sleep rough tonight - there's a muddy little village just over the hill. They're going to be excited to see you - I doubt they ever see a true, dyed in the wool fool like you this far out from the courts. Perhaps you'd like to...?"

"Perhaps I'll scurry ahead and make myself known, yes! A splendid idea!" He looked relieved, both by the prospect of a bed - even a rough country cot - and at the chance to be away from her. "I'll, ah, make sure to warn them all to mind you! To stay on their best behavior! I don't want to see.. to see THAT. Not ever again." He picked his bag and his stick with a head on it and his bells and his curious triangular guitar and began to jog down the path. Not "run", certainly not "flee". A... Very quick jog. "I'll meet you there!" He called, voice receding quickly into the distance.

Armes watched him leave, and waited till she could see him nearing the foot of the hill they'd been hiking before she coughed theatrically into her hand. A small, feminine voice answered her sign.

"I nearly screamed when he opened the pack," said the little voice, laughing ruefully.

Armes kneeled on the ground and carefully opened her pack again, as the stuffed bear within shielded her eyes from the light, rose to her little feet and stretched, yawning. "Yes, princess. I'm sorry - if I had been more cautious about how I carried you, he would never have seen." She grimaced. "My apologies also that you had to hear that - I needed to make sure he would be discreet. I would prefer not to have to kill your father's fool."

"No, it was my fault, Armes. I wanted to read, and pushed the flap open. It's so miserably dark in here, you know!" The bear's stitched face managed to look both apologetic and haughty at once, as though she had just awoken the chambermaid at an unfortunate hour to complain of a draft. "Is there no way you could leave it open?"

The warrior shook her head immediately. "Impossible. We were lucky that he was the only one to see you today. And if he had caught you MOVING, the cat might have been entirely out of the bag. So to speak."

The princess stomped her little foot, her toy shoe thumping softly. "So we tell him! He's known me since I was a child!" ("One would think you still are a child," the knight murmured to herself, unheard.) "He can be trusted! He can help us find the ones responsible for my... condition!"

"Out of the question." Armes sighed after a moment, though. "However. While we walk to town. If you promise to stay low and out of sight." She paused. "I'll walk slow."

The Princess seemed on the verge of pressing the issue, but sighed herself, and flopped unceremoniously onto her bottom in the crowded bag. "Very well. ...Thank you, Dame Armes."

"Princess Alysia." replied the knight softly, as she hefted the pack carefully to her shoulder, checking to confirm her passenger was indeed low enough, and began her leisurely stroll down towards the valley below. She could see that the fool - a colorful dot of a figure now - had reached the village green, and people were beginning to gather. There would be a room for them to sleep in tonight, for certain.

Inside the bag, the teddy bear who had until very recently been Alysia Goldenseal, the realm's heiress apparent, eldest daughter of the king, crossed her little arms behind her stuffed head and looked up at the sky. She remembered her knight protector's words from earlier - she can't sleep easily without her, eh? Then it should be only natural for her to be in the knight's bed tonight. She chuckled as she cobbled together a plan.

"Shh."

"Oh, shush yourself."